I doubt you're gonna read this unless i give you the bloody link but anyway...

Well, I think you don't know how to express yourself maybe, which just made the sms worse. :/ What's more, say what you will, you know the friendship has been changed so drastically that we don't know how to talk casually any longer. I feel it. I doubt that we'll have talks, where I share stuff with you like last year where we told each other stuff and helped each other out. somehow, you've managed to change so much.

Well, I really have to say that I'm not pissed really. And I don't really think about it except sometimes when we happen to have clashes with you all. I've been doing a lot of thinking since the weekend. Maybe it affects me, cos I considered us close friends. But what you said hurt, really. Maybe cos I really felt you were a dear friend to me. Someone who came to my concert to offer me the support that Avril and Grace didn't. And it meant the world to me.

Now I've lost you. Plus all the other friends. It's like I can't hold on to people like that, and it is obvious the friends that will last. Surprising huh. Hui Tze and me, 9 years and still counting. I can't wait to go down to her workplace. Maybe March hols? (:

Don't wanna think of unhappy things. I just can't help it everytime i see J or G. Maybe because I placed them at a very high position. yet i got disappointed. :/

Well, nice HTHT with Alyssa today! :D thank you Mrs Kyu!

Okay, just remembered I have to do Math. :/ See how ba see how. hahaha

Started watching Down With Love and don't regret it! Jerry Yan! <3

Why is life suddenly so complicated? Does it really have to be this way or do the people just make it that way? sigh.

So many things happened. Wanna complain about so many people. And feeling so many complicated feelings all at once.

First, last week, few days, thank you Roy for listening to rants and for always being there to talk! :D Well, cos so many things going on right.

To elaborate on people thinking i was born yesterday... People keep thinking that i'll believe their stupid excuses/lies. But come on, I wasn't born yesterday. I know I'm not smart but i'm not THAT stupid. :/ I was kinda pissed at first. I messaged Riley and LOL-ed at her reply! HAHAHA. thank you Mrs Park! :D

Mrs Kyu, I hope you always remember what I told you on MSN after i read your blog. If I ever see anything like that again, i'm gonna kill you okay. :D <3

Well, weekend kinda got irritated. By people who love to cut into conversations. wahaha. Wanted to study before choir but ended up talking to Thea and not doing history. LOL. She's so sweet. :D Anyway, choir was generally okay. Tiffany's leaving already thinking of maybe writing her a small nice note. :D Went to NUSS and thankfully finished history. :D

PE quite slack today thankfully. Currently waiting for Saima's reply for Erica's debate thing. :D I hope she gets it!

Anyway, sort of done my 2 outlines although was writing rubbish but but but I really dont know what else to add already! But so rush cos i forgot have to do. ):

Well, one thing to look forward to. 14 Blades with Mrs Park and Mrs Kyu! :D Awesome laaaa. Can't wait for the week to be over already! Just Kenny and Alyssa not around on Friday. ):

Saw smth just now which made me feel :/ again. And I don't even know why I feel this way. Just can say lucky I didn't really like him. haha. Quite happy for them. And wow, i damn smart sia. I guessed already! (: But the point is that I still feel I lost a friend in him... Hmm, we don't talk in school but he makes an effort when I meet him otherwise, thank you. (:

Prior to when I felt like I lost 4 friends. One came to talk to me about it. One made an effort to make conversation when queueing. (: So at least I know I haven't lost these two at least. Thank you to the two of you. (:

Okay cannot wait for Thursday! :D Maybe I'll meet Xue E before that to get me and riley's stuff as well. I hope i dont have to bring a lot of things on thurs. Okay, off to mug a bit more. :D

- 可能我是真的想有一个靠山，但却只希望可以呆在你身边，默默支持和帮助你。

Why do people think i was born yesterday?

I wasn't. I'm not so stupid to not know especially since what you told me is so bloody stupid. I was pissed at first but Mrs Park made me LOL. :D Yay, so happy to go out with her. Aly, wanna watch 14 blades? :D

Blog more in detail tonight or tmr. Church then reunion dinner. I'm gonna need entertainment!

Well, feelings on a rollercoaster ride again.

Pissed at so many things, my life is not falling into place. I feel like I really can't see people for who they really are. J you really kind of disappoint me. I really felt I could tell you a lot of stuff, feel comfortable with you, you were agreat listening ear and I believed a great friend. But it's proved different i see. Just because we're nice and don't make noise and FUCKING WHINE doesn't mean you can just treat us this way. I'm doubting if you really understand the meaning of friends. I feel a sense of deja vu, except this time, thank god for the clique. (:

Went to alto's blog and feeling guilty like shit now for reasons the altos probably know. I can't make this post private ): Soooo, kinda feeling like shit now.

Thanks Mrs Park and Mrs Kyu and Roy for last night. You all made me feel better! :D Roy and Mrs Kyu for listening. :D Mrs Park for knowing the exact medication I needed! wahaha. :D I loveeee you guys plenty plenty laaaaa.

Okay, need to go chiong physics and econs or tmr like zombie again. ):

Kinda wish you're here beside me.

Now, when I'm feeling like damn shit and the worst person on the face of the bloody bleak planet.

But nah, it's fucking 10pm. That's why i dont like the night. Cos I always happen to be alone. I always have to take everything on my fucking shoulders. And I have bloody muscle ache today btw cant carry a bloody single shit.

okay, really have to concentrate on my history.

Fuck you.

Fuck my life.

Fuck damn A Levels

Thanks for always making me cry when i'm trying to study.

Don't you want me to study.

But yeah, you have to make me cry right.

Fuck la. Just screw history up and get sent to concentration camp cos now i fucking cant think about fucking UN.

Okay, I've never behaved like this before i think. My emotions went on a roller coaster ride today.

Let's not talk about choir, alright. I was really damn super worried I was going out of my mind. I wanted to do my physics/maths while waiting for a reply. But my mind just didn't wanna concentrate ont he damn paper and I found myself staring at my phone, checking it every few seconds. And yes, I was holding my breath. My heart almost stopped.

But when the sms came in, i think the pure relief just overwhelmed me. I don't know how to explain this feeling but all of a sudden, the stress and anxiety vanished.Yes, that's how important you are to me. (:

Kind of happy today in a weird way about this whole thing. Maybe because I feel like he's relying on me (in a small way) just like i'm relying on him. :D

Okay~ and i'm just wondering if it is a sign, if maybe just maybe this was indeed a little messgae God is showing me. I prayed yesterday and suddenly today something happens. Hmm, maybe he's telling me to wait, so I will. I'll wait, I'll see and I'll be quiet, i promise. :D